Exactly one year ago I thought….

    How quickly are you supposed to love someone? In reality, you should love everyone all of the time, shouldn’t you? Especially when you don’t. Especially when they need love more than you do. I’m always falling in love. *Shrugs* it’s nice. Tough. But nice. I give life a fair chance, but give niggas very little. I allow everyone to give me their best shot. The best of some is just… sad. I’m not sure who some niggas think I am. It can’t be who I am. They can’t have read not one of my posts –even though that’s how they met me. That I find disrespectful. When someone you have an intimate connection with loves something, you support them in that. 1000% percent. If you don’t, what kind of connection is it? 
       What do people do when they chill? I know what dinner is.Lunch. A movie. Coffee. I don’t know what chill means & I apologize if I ever made it seem otherwise. You pretend to be involved. You pretend to want to. I don’t want to chill. I don’t want some nigga with nothin to say to come in my house and sit on my bed. I don’t mean to be like that with him all the time. He brings it out of me. My attitude differs depending on who I’m speaking to, and I can really only deal with but so much of so many people. He works my nerves. And I wish he’d take the sacks out of his boxers before coming into the house. He’s there for a purpose. This is business, let’s do it well. Let’s keep it that way. It’s just simple shit I don’t like about him, really. Issue is I don’t prefer  his presence to anything. I never want  to see him. There’s no desire for his company. I don’t have a desire for too many people. 
       Who really matters? I missed my mom today. That’s big. See, I don’t really miss  people. My childhood was based on the idea that death is the only thing that keeps people away. Eventually, you come back together with the people you love. My father died when I was 9 months old. Death wasn’t a big deal to me. I just understood it happened. My mother never sugarcoated anything with me. She never lied. She just took her time having conversations with me. She did a good fuckin job. 
       You know what a woman’s money is for? In case.  A man should have enough money for himself and his family –wife included. 
           Who are you to say this is a poor ending?
 It’s impossible. My thoughts are rich. I have a wealth of knowledge.
 If you understand, I hope the gods bless you. 
If you don’t, I maintain the same.