It was a tougher Thanksgiving than I thought it was going to be. At the start of it, it seemed like everyone was missing. It was just myself, my mom, Duchess (my pitbull) and Luna (my mom’s/sister’s Schnauzer). I always want to be alone, but my mom always wants to invite people. It took her a while to grant me my selfish wish but… I’d never really had time with her. What was crazier was people seeming to catch feelings over that. Like I should be with them instead of my mom… or that I should hurry up with her… I don’t know who people think they are… Where’s the respect?
My mother has always worked two jobs. The image I have of her is only of her coming in from work, getting dressed for work, or making dinner. I still see these same images, but my favorite is when she’s simply coolin, being herself. My mother has been my best friend for a year. Last year, I lost two friends and replaced them on the same day. I’m not a kind person, I’m just considerate. I don’t worry too much about other people’s feelings, especially once I’ve realized that I can’t. No matter what, I simply continue living.
The truth is, I also haven’t spoken to my sister in about a year and it’s been weighing on my a bit. Call it evil, but I say f*ck it because I haven’t spoken to my brother in over 6 years and when you really understands what it means to lose someone, you understand it’s a choice to forget them –especially when they’re still physically with you. My sister and I haven’t spoken over very petty, pretty serious shit –which is how all arguments are, right? But… if someone doesn’t want to be in your life, why force them? You can’t stop living because they wish you would. I know my sister loves me, but until she understands what love means, I’ll have to keep my distance. I only trust love.
So… I said f*ck most people & sat down to a million course meal with the woman who gave her living life for me. I even put a “no incoming calls” sign on my Instragram which some thought they were too good for. We make all of our food from scratch -natural, real the way I like it. Be thankful y’all – to those who really are who they are. And for people who love you for absolutely no reason, who don’t hold back negative emotions and pretend. My mother and I go head-to-head all the time, because we call each other out on the attitude and the disrespect -I don’t care who she is, she don’t disrespect me. Other people will pretend to love you because they have no reason not to –then theyll hate that.
Without knowing who people are forreal, or how they feel, it’s like living a protracted movie. I don’t have time for the drama nor the fiction and true comedy is tragedy. I love people who are who they are. Good or bad. Thank you.