Hello Hello!!!

Hope all is well with you! You seem to be doing well not that I expected otherwise. I try to keep up when you post things and stuff (I am not just saying that) and they are always interesting. Good shit… keep it up!

Besides the blogging that you do, what exactly do you do? Where do you work in NY? Do you like it? I want to know becauseeeeeeee… this girl right here wants to move to NYC!!! Not a surprise, huh? I outgrew RI a long time ago… ready for bigger and better (Boston in NOT the wave but it’s cool) haha… So then I started to freak out and began to think things like “If I teach in RI, then hypothetically I can save more money and spend a couple of years with mami and the kids, etc” But it felt so wrong to think all of those things because I have had my heart set on moving to the city for a couple of years now. I mean, it is the best city in the world if you ask me! lol Also, I will still be young and want to be in a city where I could come alive as young adult and a professional. RI doesn’t give you life…even if you try. I can’t knock home because home is home but we both know what it is.

I just don’t know if I am rushing a dream or avoiding one…

So my question for you is what thoughts led you or what reassured you that moving to NYC was “it.” You know? Did you just go for it? I don’t doubt myself I know I can make the city work but facing another major transitional phase in one’s life is just so overwhelming.  When it comes to anything in question, how do you seek your truest answer?
-(excerpt of a letter from) Remy
Yo, yo! 

It’s always a blessing to have people I know forreal reach out. Since you already know I keep it funky, here we go with some answers.

            I work for Calvin Klein in their Creative Services Department. Calvin Klein was the first (and might be the only) apparel company that has its own in-house advertising agency: CRK, named for Calvin Richard Klein. I participate on the team as the Traffic Coordinator. Now, if you know anything about the advertising structure, you know that I’m a little fish in a small pond with sharks. But I’m a piranha. Not everything is as easy and glam as you think it is. My alarm is set for 5:00am. When I get up depends on the night before. I commute an hour to work and get in about 9:30am. I work until my work is done (squeezing in my illegal personal stuff) and then I ask my boss if there’s anything else I can do.  I leave at about 7pm. I get home at 8:30pm and take my puppy out. I try be asleep by midnight. My point is… if you want something, you work for it. You do what you have to do to do it. And don’t believe the hype… success is a slow process.  But I love everything I do. I’m very blessed and I thank God as many times as I can remember everyday.

On July 24th, 2010, I started my blog: ELLATHOUGHT.com. You’ve had the pleasure of witnessing me behind a microphone (whether in the name of art or equality) and I’ve always know words were mine to manage. Soon after, I spoke with my cousin (now known as) PFungFitness about heading a fitness section while bringing on Brittany Shawnté for Only1Spotlight. Earlier this year, I teamed up with Li Li Bee to join forces on the beauty front and I still owe you all a formal introduction to Hani Hulu who’s graced us with fabulous fashion. This is partially a JWWWD Magazine pitch, but I say this to say that no matter what goes on in life, you always do what you want to do. Either that or I’m far too good at this advertising sh*t.  So while I work a full-time job,  I manage a legit  online magazine that will be published for print next year. I create all of the logos and banners. I manage our main website page, two of the site pages and the calendar. I also work with Hollywood of Brooklyn (dope emcee, in a couple years, tell’em I told you first) as well as his joint EBFLifestyle.com venture as I dabble in brand management. I graduated Loyola University with a degree in Advertising (because that makes money)  and a minor in writing (because that doesn’t make money). I spend hours on Craigslist and Facebook finding people who need to be found as well as (free) events in the city where I need to be seen. I carry my business cards everywhere I go –I give them out on the street, on the train, in stores, everywhere. When the words come to me, I write –poetry, songs, whatever I need to… like right now, I need to write this. I’m doing well, but from jump, I need you to know that I work very hard in a place full of competition. New York is everything. I’m here because I wanna make it here –and everywhere else.

            If you want to move to New York, or anywhere for that matter, the first step is to get a jobBills have got to be paid and the rent is too damned high. The one thing you learn in NYC fast, is  ain’t shit cheap, but you might get free drinks at a happy hour somewhere. Everyone thinks they’re going to come to NY and just party it up… but soon enough you’ll realize you’re not a rockstar (yet), so please take caution and try to process that before you come here. Everyone will want to visit you in a cramped-ass studio apartment. Everyone will want to party on that week you don’t get paid. I didn’t just come here and wander the streets. And it wasn’t easy. Fortunately, I knew someone. Unfortunately, I’m not “someone” yet, so I can’t really help you (or anyone else) out. Still, it seems to me you have a job offer on the table. The final choice to make is whether you fight for it or not. I interviewed for an Account Coordinator position in May 2010. The day of my interview, I had to drop my final, senior paper (15 pages of brilliance) to my (not so kind) professor. Needless to say, I remembered when I was on the bus leaving Baltimore. I put a call into a friend, sent an email to the professor, read her rude-ass response, told her I deserve a better grade than everybody in that class, and threw on Jay-Z’s U Don’t Know till I walked into Calvin Klein’s elevator with a feeling like I didn’t give a fuck. I was in it to win it.  Buuuuuuuut… I didn’t get the job. From June 2010 – August 24th 2010, I worked at ALDO Shoes in Emerald Square Mall. Day after day, I’d walk into work bracing myself for the next familiar face. They’d walk in and think “this is where you are?” Since I know you, Remy, you might know what they might have been too afraid to say outloud —You wasted all that money on Private school for what? You wasted all that money on a college degree for what? But you might also anticipate my response:  So I can hang it on my wall, n*gga what?!

             I’m not sure why you want to join Teach for America. I’ve never seen your resume, but I know you’re bright and independent because of the move you made in going to Moses Brown in the first place. You continuation of your degree in Boston has simply proved that you have endurance, perseverance and persistence. Your willingness to reach out to me exemplifies your humility (I ain’t nobody forreal (yet) lol). I believe I’ve seen you once in the past 6 years, but our unwavering connection is only a taste of your authenticity. Not to mention, I don’t recall exactly how many siblings you have, but it wasn’t a few. I believe you’re the eldest? What an honorable move to set standards for those who will inevitably look up to you and follow your steps! I know that you are qualified to rule the world (the parts I don’t own lol) but, as your friend, I encourage you to never lose sight of whatever it is that makes you happy. I don’t know what that is –sometimes we keep those private — but if teaching makes you happy, then there is your answer. If it doesn’t, or you don’t know yet… a paycheck will feel good. So #RealRap take a job where it comes & deal with it later 😉

           Whenever I seek an answer, I listen to myself. If it feels weird, off, or I simply don’t want to… I don’t. *shrugs* I don’t care how anyone else feels. I do what makes me happy. The only time I don’t is when I’m at work, but even when I did, please believe I sat my bosses down and told them how I felt and… Bonus, b*tches.   I do whatever make me happy. Some people seem to think it’s just the name of my magazine for sh*ts and giggles, but I mean it. When I wake up in the morning, I do what makes me happiest. When I plan my life out, I try to envision the end picture to be exactly as I want it —then I plan accordingly.  I know that #YOLO sh*t is played, but it’s only because it’s true and people are tired of not being able to live up to it. 

          Since you came to me, I’m going to tell you how I really feel. As you make the beginning choices as to what the rest of your life will be (I know that’s dramatic, but that’s what it is) just be sure to be pure in those choices. I’ve never been one to lie about my addiction to money, but it’s not everything. I’ve also never been so base enough to not care about the conditions of others, but I know that if my condition isn’t what it needs to be, I can’t possibly help anyone else. You’ve got to make decisions that will benefit the most in the end.

             As for leaving Rhode Island: It’s a b*tch. I love home, too. This is going to sound cold but, when you hold onto people, sometimes they keep you in the same place as opposed to following your lead. You don’t need to hold onto anyone, those who love you will hold onto you. Distance ain’t sh*t. You should just make sure to call your Mami more than I call mine (she’s my n*gga, tho. She understands the grind).  One of James Diossa’s (running for CF mayor) points is that people don’t want to return to the city after they’ve “made it”. Btu that’s because there’s nothing there. There are no jobs. As you said, there is no life. The problem with Rhode Island is that people either leave and don’t come back, or never leave at all. So wall you have is a bunch of people who don’t know sh*t except the same sh*t. Not to knock anyone, but that’s why I didn’t go to school in Boston. Same sh*t, in my opinion.  I didn’t go to college in NY because I didn’t get into my first choice, so I went where the money was. I appreciated Baltimore, because it broadened my understanding of the world. You ever notice how people at home all wear the same shit? They say the same shit? Talk the same way? It’s like people are afraid to be different, and if they are different, they’re still late in comparison to the rest of the world. And they still don’t know sh*t.  I plan on going back home someday. I’ll always be from CF –proudly, too– but I belong to no one particular place. The entire world is mine/yours/ours. 

      You can neither rush nor avoid dreams. Now, I know this is heavy matter, but my final word of advice to you is this: Pray. I got an email from Calvin Klein’s HR department in August 2010 (around the 19th or 20th) while I was in Chicago with my mom (we joined my sister on a conference for her job, as she was the first to leave RI, and she’s never going back lol). I had to get home, wash clothes, and get on a bus to New York if I wanted the job. I also had to call out of work (and had a conversation where I got “fired” because if I didn’t get the job, unemployment line was the next stop). I wanted the job. Before we went to the train station, my mother called my great-grandmother in Santo Domingo so she could spit me a lil prayer/oración (you know the deal) and went to the cemetery to speak with my brother. Idk if you knew my religious stance back  in high-school, but I pray all the time now –for no reason & every reason. I’ve learned to deal with “faith”. Sophomore year at Moses Brown, my religion teach, Mike McGuigan, told us that faith is the ability to have doubt and still believe.

         I’m scared all the time but I’m never worried. I put my faith in God, therefore I fear nothing. I don’t know how this will all turn out for either of us, but I encourage you to find purity in your actions and decisions by being pure in your desires. People around you will have already made up their minds for you, but you determine what you’ll do and what you’ll make of it. If you stay in Rhode Island, do it the best way you can. If you teach in New York do it the best way you can. Never waver in what you will do, let God place you where you need to be. But anywhere on God’s green earth, do your best to make it the best it can be. You don’t have to ask God for anything but tomorrow. That’s it. Some tomorrows bring blessings and others bring pain, but a tomorrow is a tomorrow nonetheless. Regardless of the human world around you, what I believe matters most is your spirit. Work hard. Be brilliant. Be happy. And Pray. They say everything is possible through God. I’m now one of “them”.

If you want something, do it. Go for it. 
There is no other answer… I mean… that’s what you want, right? 
Denying yourself isn’t the way to live life.

& as for Teach for America, I know you understand… but that’s me & you.
If you’re going to work with who we could’ve been, do the future a favor & do it with Love.
❤ ❤ ❤

Love you & buena suerte,