One year ago, I thought…
9.21.11

You see… people do the same things. All of them. Anyone can hold your hand. A kiss is a kiss, it can only get so good –hopefully perfected. Sex is sex at the end of the day –hopefully perfected. Still, it’s the feeling that comes along with it. The feeling that you wouldn’t trade anything for those fingers, those lips, that touch. It’s the mere fact that it’s coming from him that illicit orgasms in your heart. And if a man can do that… why deny him? Why fight him. Sometimes… there is little you can control. You can either focus on what the rest of the world considers a “eligible” man, or you can determine the prerequisites on your own. But remember, you’re the one who has to love him. Would you love him forever? Would you really? In spite of all he’s done? 
       Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in what a person did before you met them, that we fail to see them for who they are. Personally, I’m not interested in the past. I’m sure it had a great affect on who you’ve become, but who you are in the moment matters most to me. I used to be 18. I used to be 15. I used to be 6… At each of those ages, my life changed drastically and have shaped me… but today, I am who I am. The same goes for my men out there. There are different worlds black people have to travel –and I’m speaking of a particular sector that’s influenced not only by color of skin but by socio-ecominic struggles as well. Those worlds range from real, to street, to work to school… they are all world you have to navigate on your own. We all find our way through it in whatever form we’re best at. I write. Others steal. Some gamble. Others monopolize. Some employ slave-like labor in international factories. There are many more bad people out there than my man is. He may have committed some sins, but if your God is as great as you think he is, I’m sure he’s already forgiven him –or soon will.

Today, I believe…
9.21.12
I try my very hardest to give all men a fair chance. Especially after I wrote All Men are Created Equal. But I never fail to remember that I don’t have to make The Exceptions people think I have to.  
Recently spent time getting to know myself by getting to know my mother.  We went to a couple of antique spots and the photo posted here is of some random places at one of the stored. I posted the photo on instagram the other day & new friend of mine asked which one of the 6 listed I preferred. “#7 a man with the integrity of 5 average men combined,” I responded. “Good Luck with that now a days…” he posted back, “till then there is always match.com.” He’s a comedian -_- (literally, tho). Still, I can’t ever help but to respond as needed on my  instagram. “Thanks for the good wishes,” I wrote back. Invite you to the wedding perhaps.” 
If someone isn’t everything you need them to be, they let you know that. All you’ve got to do is listen. If you tell a man what you want, and he argues that it’s not possible, it’s because he can’t do it. Not that this guy was interested in me, but it’s precisely the reason why this is a good example. We don’t see life the same way, and that is very okay. People say exactly what they mean and are exactly who they are, especially when they don’t want to be. So the next time you “try” to find a “soul mate” tell them the truth about how you feel and what you want. If they disagree, they disagree. My last brief dating stint ended, in part, because I’m not sure I have the strength to teach a man to believe in God. *shrugs* It’s taken me 24 years to say out loud that I believe. Imagine my trying to convince a grown man what to believe in? Maybe it’s not important right when you start dating but… it’s until you realize that dating ain’t shit but the trail period. If you don’t like the trail period, why would you buy the package? If you argue all the time, you argue all the time. If he’s a jerk, he’s a jerk. Now, whether or not you are willing to put up with those things are one side of the coin. But there are two sides.
“You’re always smiling,” people like  to comment. I smile my response. People want to see you upset. They want to see if they can make you crumble –whether intentional or not. We’re a species built on the theory of “survival of the fittest”. You know a weak link  as soon as it shows it’s pitiful face. I talk about this all the time, but people doubt me often. Perhaps my small frame is misleading or attractive to emotional bullies. Still, while I know he mean no harm, I couldn’t wrap my head around why he’d bring such negative commentary to my positivity. The answer is simple: People like the negative. Negative seems to be easier to relate to.  Fighting the “good” battle is a tough one. I recommend you tune into the 2012 Presidential Debates as a testimony to it.

Prince Charming is out there.  Yep. I still believe šŸ™‚ If he’s not, then maybe that reincarnation shit will work (you never know) & I’ll be who he needs me to be in my next life. Thing is, if I’m on my shit enough to deserve him, why shouldn’t I believe? Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect… buuuut I am. I should be perfect for him and he should be perfect for me. If I know I want red shoes, I’m not going to buy blue ones. I know what I want.
 
If not, fuck shoes. #NixEverything #ShakiraStyle