Exactly one year ago I thought….
That was smart of me. I ended the last post before I could tell you all about him. And I’m going to keep avoiding it. But don’t worry, I’ll tell you everything. I have to. I’m a blogger, remember?
That reminds me, Ladies, you should keep your man to yourself. I mean, if he’s yours. If he’s rightfully yours, then you should act accordingly. I’ve finally found out the next stage. Here’s how it goes. When you’re a baby, you have no idea what another “sex” is. Later on, they become “gross” and boys come standard with “cooties.” Then… you can’t get enough. They –some of them– are God’s greatest invention, until you despise them. I’d say, during your teenage years, boys are neither here nor there, it’s being able to get them and a lot of them is what you aim for. And they suck for a while until you meet the one you thought was “the one”. Then they suck more. Then you begin to understand that the body is merely a host for the person. The outside doesn’t matter but a pretty package is a plus. When you get to a certain age/point, you being to understand that there is more required to be a “man” than having a penis. Or maybe there isn’t. Whatever you decide, you have to make that decision. If you want a man, you have to understand what that means to you, because sometimes, it seems like women aren’t chasing men… just d*cks.
That’s how he learns to trust you. You’ve got to be able to do right without his having to ask. You have to be perfect without being perfect. Sounds like a lot of fuckin work right? I’m sure it is. I’m still trying to convince myself to do it all. The shit sounds ideal. Like if I were to write a ___Easy Step to Get Yourself a Man, you’d get them all with that. & it’s true. The problem with this though, is that the moment you don’t want to do it for him, the game is over. You can only pretend to love a man for so long. And I can give you examples of how to love him, but I can’t tell you if it’s real. & I won’t help you pretend.
I know I’m real though. How about you? It’s not until you learn to trust yourself that you’ll know if it’s real. If you read through my posts, you’ll see I fall in and out of love every two days. My heart does that *shrugs*. But I know it does that. I let it enjoy itself, but I never let it run wild without my mind’s guidance.
I’m not worried because I’ll catch myself.
Like how I caught myself now.