7.7.11
Exactly one year ago I thought….


     I’m done. Everyone deactivates and then comes back but I’m done this time. I deleted the “I think” I originally placed in the previous sentence because… I think it’s time. 
       I don’t want to be accessible. I realized yesterday how much I don’t like to talk on the phone. Not because of lack of conversation, but because I talk way too fuckin much. And somehow I’m friends with all the most talkative people known to man. It takes  up your time. You’re stuck in one place, in one conversation. You don’t get shit done. And it’s not that I have that much shit to do, I just end up feeling like there’s something I didn’t  do because I was trapped with this thing to my face. 
          I’m feeling so Thoreau. For those of you in the shitty school systems I was fortunate enough to escape, Thoreau was a writer with enough money stacked up that he could move out into the woods & build a cabin to live off the earth and write about it. He probably also smoked weed. (Now that isn’t the accepted biography but… you have google. Anyways… ) The one thing I envy Thoreau for was the calmness he inherited when he left the world. There has to be some sort of tranquility in no one being able to call. I hate that “missed call” sign. The only thing I hate more than that is “wats up stranger” text messages. I don’t know how to respond. Do I giggle and say, “I’m not a stranger!” Or do I speak the complete truth and ask, “Where’s your game at?”  I’m not sure what these guys want from me. Actually… that’s a lie.

       The problem is, I only want to be contacted by particular people. I don’t want to talk to everyone. I don’t like everyone that much. I’m all for simple hellos.  I like someone to call and say hi. I don’t want to sit on the phone. I get nervous, I get tired, I get anxious, I get bored –unless you can entertain me. And most can’t, to be honest. That’s why I like being on the phone with my girlfriends. When I want to hang up, I say, “I’ll call you back,” and there’s no hard feelings (at least there shouldn’t be). I don’t like to have to call. And I don’t like someone to call me everyday.

     Then I change my mind. Then I want to be connected, because I can.  There’s always a way to find someone. Facebook, Twitter, Linked-In, Tumbler, TwitPic, email, gmail (if you’re a G like me ) and if you’re not to be found there, we resort to AIM and MySpace –you know you still have both. Now the worst thing in the world is Skype. You can actually see a person. You can be entertained by a persona. Maybe that’s the right way (go figure). You can’t touch. You can’t do a damned thing except talk & get to know each other –unless you do than you should via live camera.