I said something once to someone about how much I liked her. *shrugs* For years, I knew her name but never saw her face & rarely had conversations concerning her. Reason being… I never really had an opinion on her. She was my cousin’s girlfriend. Then she was the mother of his son. At that point, I felt as though my opinion of her didn’t matter. & not necessarily in a bad way… it just shouldn’t. It’s not my business what they go through personally. & perhaps I’m simply not that involved. Maybe I don’t know the truth behind it all. But I’ll say that when I’m with them, they look happy. They enjoy each other’s company. & I admire their chemistry. He treats her like a lady. She treats him like a man. I don’t know the particulars of their relationship and, frankly, I don’t care. One thing I’ve said before is that I don’t care much for being friends with my cousin’s girlfriends. Not because I want to be mean about it, but because my cousins are family first. I’m not the one they should tell their stories to. I don’t want to know what they do on their free time and their “shorties” shouldn’t feel comfortable enough to talk badly about my cousins to me. I love gossip, but not when it’s about people I care for.
The thing with these two is that if they ever told me anything in confidence about the other, I’d confidently assume it’s with the best intentions. & I doubt they’d talk badly about each other. In the years they been together (years on years on years), my cousin has never talked badly about her. At least not to me. So that makes me respect her. & that’s how it should be. I love her because he does. Should I require any other reason? & minding my own business, I respect her as a woman with the emotional tolls I know she’s managed to managed. I hope to every God I’m as strong as she is in my relationship. & If there is anyone I’m not blood-related to who I’ll call to ask for questions when the time comes for me to have children, Nancy better be the hell ready. lol
That’s how all relationships should be –if judged from the outside in, defended from the inside out. Because only two people should have the ability to be on the inside. Still, the outside shows plenty. You can see when people don’t get along. You can tell when it’s not real. You can’t fake love. You can flirt. You can hold hangs. You can woo. You can’t force yourself to love, tho. I don’t know if what they have is perfect (for them), but I like what it looks like from the outside. Honestly, it looks like they’re… on the same team. Like they’d cheer for each other louder than the haters can boo. They seem to be each other’s #1 fans. & if it is fake… I hope I can fake it that well.
What I respect most about them, is that I know nothing about their relationship. That’s the way I like it. I don’t doubt they each choose who they tell everything to, but it’s not me. And that’s perfect. Not everyone has to know your business. And not everyone‘s opinion counts. Not to mention, our opinions on what other people’s relationships are is none of our business. Really. Who do we think we are to judge what other people have. Not to say that some doesn’t need judgement. Some people just plain shouldn’t be together. But sometimes, I think people pry and pick at things to find faults in other people’s relationships instead of paying mind to our own. (Or getting our own.)
With that said… I just want to let you all know that there’s things you don’t know and won’t know until I think the time is right. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, you’ll never know the whole me by reading one of these posts. Please don’t waste your time trying to box or label me. It’s tough being a blogger & not filling you in on every move of my dating life… but it’s my life. Actually… it’s not just my life… it’s that special guy’s as well. & if he’s special, then he’s treating me with the utmost respect… I owe him the same in return.