Smile. That’s all it really takes, forreal. I sometimes sit back and wonder what makes people so angry, but removed from the situation, it’s easy enough to see why.
I live for life. Simply because I have one. I’m not sure exactly what I’m working towards but I’m fully aware of the multiple commas in the total. Life ain’t easy. & it sure ain’t cheap –not of you want to live right. Not if you want things to be a little easier.If money buys anything, it’s convenience. truth be told, I’m a little pissed off I wasn’t offered a ride to the bus this morning. But instead of complaining, I understand the the simple solution is to get a vehicle of my own. I refuse to complain. I refuse to sit and consider what someone ELSE should be doing for me because (lease believe) when the that check comes in, it’ll be addressed to me & me only.
I’ve just caught myself falling again. I’m luck I was here. I’m grateful I pay attaention because the moment I begin to feel like “this is it,” they fuck up & i’m stuck convincing myself he doesn’t know any better. & I know that he doesn’t. Still, I don’t have the time to teach a man EVERYTHING. I can’t hold your hand through everything. Either this is right,or it’s not, but we need to figure it out now. & until we do,I keep the key to my heart around my neck. I’ve changed the locks. This is no spare. I don’t have any children, and I’m thankful for it. Not because I don’t see the beauty in children, but when I feel I’m giving myself too much to someone, I step back and reevaluate -the shit is new to me. I’m the only person who really matters in my life. I’m the one who has to get me where I need to be. So how can I possibly continue to concern myself with things/people outside of that?
Today, I celebrate all people. I celebrate your accomplishments if you have any because we all deserve good in our lives. Still, I gain glory your defeats because there can only be one winner. I toast to worlds’ haters (past, present & future) for taking the time. I congratulate the competition for their bravery & naive ambition. & then I toast to me. Because, I deserve it. Even if no one ever toasts to me. Pass the Clicquot, please. I’m going out to have fun this weekend. The beauty of it all is that I should be more upset. A terrible thing has happened to me that is sure to lead to a brighter place. You know what hey say about doors & when they close. You’ve just got to open your eyes and see the opportunity when it shows it’s pretty face. I don’t know who I’m going to be 10 years from now, but I can’t fuckin wait. I’ve never been so proud of myself. So determined. So motivated. I’m a hard fuckin worker. Not only that but I’m a great friend. I’m a absolute pleasure, to be honest and I’m tired of pretending I’m not.
Life shouldn’t be so angry. Or uncomfortable. Or hard. Or stressful. Everyone has the right to be happy & comfortable in whatever it is they do. Unfortunately, that isn’t the reality of the world, but we can try can’t we? Therefore, this weekend is a fuckin celebration. I’ve realized that the people who love me prove it. & people who don’t even know me recognize my potential from the gate. I’m gonna BE somebody. I really fuckin am. I have to be.
I’m already thinking of what my New Year’s resolution will be. (Last year, I promised to love myself. & I don’t break promises anymore. Especially not ones I’ve made to myself.) In 2012, I aim to be the same old me. Regardless of whether or not you call, it’s still the same number, same hood. I’m going to continue to be the truest me I can be. I promise to work to my fullest potential. I promise to be exactly who I said I was & will be. I will never lie again. I will never be untruthful. I will never be anyone but me. & truth is, I’ll never be anyone but you.
So Make sure you toast to the jerk-offs while your cup is up. Even if it’s in silence. We deserve it. 😉
Happy Holidays, b*****s.