I’m only giving you things you joke about in your parents’ living rooms. The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of yall and I aint got to be false or sugar-coated at all. – Eminem “The Real Slim Shady” 
Do u think anal sex is nasty, and have u ever done it?


   This is a conversation I pretend to be able to have in public. You threw me off with this one! So bear with me. I’m trying to be honest with you but maintain respect for myself. Not sugar-coated, but within a realm of respect. The reason being is that my sex life is mine. Similarly, your sex life is yours. That’s the ultimate message I want to give you. So whatever you want to do, I say you go ahead and do that. Any woman who’s had a desire/fantasy fulfilled knows there’s nothing beyond compare. This issue here is that you’re a female. It’s a lot easier for us to be labeled as “whores” if we’re more sexually open than the next girl (even though she’s probably done worse.) You’ve got many more hoops to jump through. So.. I think that a lot of what you do in the bedroom depends on things outside of the bedroom. There are certain things I hold off on. You’ve got to come up with your own rules when it comes to that. There’s certain things I only do for certain people.
New relationship : 
All about my own pleasure. There’s no reason to test your limits and boundaries with a man you don’t fully know and isn’t committed to you. Additionally, if you extend “freaky” ideas to him it can really lead anywhere. Hi might get excited, or he might think that’s too much for him. 
Serious relationship:
 Fair exchanges of pleasure. If you’re comfortable with a person (sexually) and you have a good vibe, you might be able to try whatever you want. Perhaps you’ll both enjoy it. 
Declared monogamous relationship: 
Sometimes for his pleasure. If he wants to do it, but you’re not sure… it’s okay to in this arena, I think. At this point, he respects you and knows you enough to understand your sexuality and not judge you if you propose something new. 
Committed, longterm relationship: 
Things I wouldn’t consider, if that’s what he likes. & this stage you can introduce new things to add “spice” to the relationship if he’s for it. 
Married (or something like it): 
Shit you probably shouldn’t do. At this point, you probably have done it all. So you might consider new things. At this point, he’s more likely to keep your secrets to himself so you can probably try a whole lot of things. He might not only enjoy it, but appreciate it. 

      But this is simply how I look at relationships..  you might see it differently. I just don’t think you should give a man more than he deserves. & not to say that all you have to give is your body… but it’s a hell of a gambling tool. You can’t give them too much before it’s time. Once upon a time, anal sex fell into my “committed/longterm” umbrella. An attempt was made… but I couldn’t handle the feeling. I decided that losing my virginity once was enough. & honestly… that was the game behind it all. I had a boyfriend.. who I adored. I would have done (and did) anything for him. He told me he wished he was my “first” and that this way, he’d be my first something. Emotionally, I was all for it. & I don’t regret it. At least now I know the shit ain’t me. Pain isn’t me & that extends into additional parts of my sex life (I’ll share some other time). I’ve also heard multiple horror stories regarding anal sex and… feces. I don’t need that on my sheets. It’s the urban myth (I call it that because I wouldn’t know if it’s true or not and I’m not looking that up on my work computer) of not being able to control your bodily functions during the act. I  had this conversation in high school once (years and years ago) to which a girl provided a suggestion: maybe I should use the bathroom first and then try it. Frankly, I’m not interested in any activity that requires my bowels to be empty. 
      I don’t look down on it. Some girls like it. Personally, I don’t. The stigma behind anal sex, I think, is rooted in its prevalence in porn. It’s something porn stars do. Probably because they have to switch it up and (more likely) they might get paid more for it. In the porn industry, the more you do, the bigger the check. This is going to sound off, so judge me if you’d like… but anal, to me, is a thing I give to two things: Curiosity and homosexual relationships. (I know, I know… whateverrrrrrr.) My reasoning is this: Men and women have parts that fit directly one with the other. I’m fine having an extra, unused hole. When a male and a male get together… where else are you going to put it? You’ve got to do something. As for lesbians??? I mean… they spend a hell of a lot of time with their faces in there… they probably are used to the area and experiment more since they’re umm….missing tools. I think that anal sex is uncomfortable for people who fall more towards heterosexual on the spectrum. Ever try to play in a straight man’s behind? lmfao… It scares and upsets them at the same time. It’s hilarious, actually. I’ve even had a guy tell me he won’t have anal sex, because it’s only a step away from having anal sex with a man and so he’d prefer to stay in Pussytown. Men say the darndest things 😉
    Speaking of the male point of view. I haven’t met a guy who loves it. I also haven’t met a guy who will turn it down. If you want to do it, he will. Even if he said he won’t. Men are like that. I asked around and apparently, it feels the same to them. The stimulation is mental: From simply knowing that they’re in a different hole. Still, I think that if you do it too soon with a guy, he might think a certain way of you. Like… if you want to be taken seriously… I wouldn’t recommend anal sex on the first night. But then again, that depends on the guy. But like I said before, your sex life is yours. If thats what you want to do, and thats what he wants to do, then go right ahead and enjoy yourself. & If you really do enjoy it, he’ll respect that, I think and enjoy being able to fully please you. Because think what you’d like… but all men want to do in bed is please a woman –if they know anything about sex or women. 
     If you feel wrong about something you’re doing sexually… or if you  don’t want to do it… Don’t. You wrote to me for a reason. I’m not quite sure what that is… but you’ve go to figure that out yourself. There’s nothing wrong with experimenting and being comfortable with your body. & I admire any women who is. But it depends on the reason behind it. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what I think unless you want to have sex with me lol. What matters is how your partner feels. How comfortable they are with it. & If they don’t match up with your sexuality (like I talked about in If You’re Nasty… you know he ain’t the one for you (long term). Your body is yours to do with as you please. I don’t think there are limitations besides being safe. Sex should be a beautiful, joyous thing & whatever you share with a man should be your choice and yours alone. Not solely  because it’s what he wants. & you shouldn’t refrain from enjoying yourself because of what your friends think. & really, it’s non of their business what turns you on if they’re not going to provide a solution. —This is why I’ve backed away from talking about sex with friends. It’s a personal thing. & how you do it in the bedroom is up to you. Like Ciara said, your bedroom is your circus 😉 
But…always strap up, pop a pill & play it safe. 
PS: You’re hott. You can get away with a lot lol 😉