Say she want to get married, have kids one day. Like, out in Beverly Hills she wanna live one day. Nas “KISSING”

       I don’t remember when Diana got married, but I remember that it had taken place. Even more so after the tragedy that followed. Over the past couple of… months, the British had been preparing for today, while Americans have been bitching and moaning the whole way through. We’re American, so it shouldn’t matter to us, right? What’s the big deal? What should we care? Truth is, you don’t have to care. But if you are any type of traditional, the event is momentous. 

        There haven’t been many weddings. I mean, in my life. Not as many as there should be anyway. And I’m not sure what the cause has been, but it has got to be a lack of something. A lack of finances to have a marriage? A lack of people falling in love? A lack of faith that it will last? A lack of people willing to make that sacrifice? A lack of people who want to get married? I’m not sure, all I know is that recently, I’ve felt like the entire world (my world is America) places so little value on marriage and it’s been accepted too widely, in my opinion. Since when is it okay to bash the sanctity of marriage? Just because you don’t believe doesn’t make marriage any less valuable for the rest of the world. All it does is make marriage less valuable with you. If you don’t value marriage your marriage is likely to suck. So, yes, I agree you should not enter that arrangement. But for the rest of us who see marriage as a covenant of love, allow us to have that. 

“I think you’re ready,” he said to me. “You talk about marriage… but the way you talk about is like you’re ready for that. Like you’re longing for that.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No. You’d make a great wife. I’d be lucky to marry someone like you… “

And that’s the way he should feel. 

       Eva Mendes was in the news recently for her views on marriage. She’s throwing around words like “old” and “unnecessary” (find the article you prefer here, I can’t find the original source). The actress has been dating George Augusto for 10 years and is seemingly okay with the situation. That’s fine. The Toronto Sun reports that She went on to say “I don’t know if I want children, but the idea of marriage sounds very boring to me. I have to be honest… I am extremely romantic but I think there is that little rebel inside me that is anti-establishment. It’s just one more fun thing I can rebel against.” What she’s really rebelling against is being a woman, in my opinion. She has most of the things all women want. Beauty, money, pretty things and a man who’s been by her side for a very long time. But there are two things I believe women were made for that she’s given up: Women where made for men & children. 

    We were meant for a man. If you’re any sort of Christian, this is where Genesis comes into play with the story of Adam & Eve that I’m sure we’ve all heard –whether you believe in it or not. But  no matter your religion, I guarantee there is one fact you cannot argue: Women were made to have children. If they weren’t, men would be able to have children as well. We were given this ability for a reason. & whether you interpret it as simply to maintain the human race or to bring life into the world that may, one day, make a huge difference is on you. (and if a couple can’t  have children on their own, I think it’s their social responsibility to adopt. Children need parents.) With that said, Ms. Mendes (since she doesn’t ever want to be a Mrs.,) can go against tradition if she wants. But if we all went against tradition, there would be nothing but mass chaos and disregard in this world. 

      In understand the theory that walking down the aisle doesn’t make a marriage. But it’s the same way some people don’t show up for graduation. It’s bizarre. Why wouldn’t you go? Don’t you want to celebrate this? It’s supposed to be a joyous occasion. It’s like a birthday party for both of you together. Corny as it might be, it’s when you’re love is official “born” into this world to be recognized by all. Technically, a child born at home & never registered doesn’t exist. Same goes for a marriage not sealed in matrimony… actually, a marriage done informally really doesn’t exist. That’s why there are laws like Common Law Marriage. Because regardless of whether or not you want the ceremony, you’re married. All it is, is whether or not you want the party. 

     Don’t say you don’t believe in marriage. You do. You believe in everything it means. What you don’t want is the celebration –for whatever reason. Maybe your afraid that if you put on this big show, you might get divorced and then the world world has to know about how your love fell apart. I understand. But that’s why you maintain it and find someone who wants to be with you forever. If that person doesn’t/won’t, they didn’t love you like they should have and… sadly, that happens. It’s a gamble. Love is a gamble. & If I have the ace, I’m gonna put all my chips in. 

      Check out how Bossip commented, “So you mean to tell us that if you want to get with Eva, you can live with her, enjoy making sweet love to her and leave whenever you want without having to pay half? Where in the world do we sign up?”And that is how men, because that article was obviously written by one, respond to a woman who doesn’t want to get married. And perhaps not all of them. But many of them, I’d assume. And if they don’t feel this way upfront, it’s the “leave whenever you want” that makes them avoid marriage. Yes, marriage is lockdown, but it should be. You shouldn’t be able to leave someone whenever you want. You should have to think about it. It should  be difficult. You shouldnt be able to tell someone you ‘lll love them forever and then change your mind. You shouldn’t. 

     We need to know the real reason people don’t want to get married. Because I promise you the reasons that go around are bullshit. What people are afraid of is being left. Publicly. If you divorce, people know. There is record of it. But if you did all you could to make it work, there should be no shame in your divorce. & hopefully it wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry world, but I want it all. The white dress and a room full of people who love me. Who love us. A day where we can celebrate our love and invite the people we care about to celebrate that with us. And if a million people wanted to watch my wedding, because it inspired them to do the same or they simply wanted to support my union, then so be it. Not everyone has to care about my wedding, but if they did, I’d greatly appreciate their best wishes.  I’m sure William and Kate felt the same. 

      Marriage is okay. Really. &  even if it’s not for you, it’s okay to support those who believe in it. Maybe we need this. In society I mean. Maybe we need to revive the immediate household to fix America. In the 50’s and such, there wasn’t so much bullshit happening and kids weren’t slinging coke. Children were respectful. They went to school. They worked hard. It was a different time. Now, when marriage is unimportant and “unnecessary,” there are all these fucked up households and barely any family structure in American society. Maybe we need this. Maybe we needed to see that marriage still exists. And that somewhere people still believe. So that little girls can understand that they should be wives rather than “wifeys”and “boo’s”. They should be treated like princesses. And the guys they date will understand that women are to be married. They are to be courted. Respected. Reveled and celebrated. I don’t think it’s okay to encourage young women to sit around and be a man’s… plaything, or for men to have women stand by them with no obligation. It’s gotten to the point where women are being looked down upon for wanting to be married. That is not okay.  
& if you missed it… read “Why Get Married