You ain’t gotta be rich , but fuck that. How we gon’ get around on your bus pass?
– Jay-Z “Can I Get a…“
He was cute. Not only from my perspective, but I guarantee you, the general outlook of the world. His chest – massive & trying to break it’s way out of a v-neck white t-shirt — atop a decent 5’10ish frame was attractive to say the least. But have you ever noticed that when you look at someone real close… they aren’t all they’re cracked up to be?
He doesn’t work on his legs enough. My cousin Shirlz (aka Pamela) & I noticed this at the gym the other day. Guys work so hard on their upper body and forget the toothpicks they have to hold it up with. & His head was awkward. It was perfectly… circle. Like… a kid’s basketball sitting on his shoulders. & His eye brows were done. Like done done. He walked nervously in his Ugg boots. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to avoid the disastrous “crease” all us kids from the hood fear, or if he was trying to keep them on (for some reason, you’re not supposed to lace up those boots, I guess). Either way, my button down, black velvet (yup, velvet) pants and heels didn’t quite match with his Brooklyn attire but we kept on anyways.
The key to a good date is to pretend you love it. I’d have rather been somewhere else. With someone else. I’d have rather had a silent dinner with someone else than to keep up the pointless conversation I had with this boy. He said nothing. He had nothing to contribute. It got o the point where I jokingly asked him random questions the likes of “What’s your favorite color?” and “ummm.. Favorite number?” simply because I couldn’t stand to be bored.
A couple of years ago, I’d have rode it out. I’d have been so caught up in what he looks like that I’d have made exceptions for it all. I know this because our interaction felt so familiar, and I really was comfortable with him. It was all very “high-school boyfriend”. He did the brush by my hand but not really hold it thing –SIDENOTE: If you ever go on a date with someone you’d rather not have physical interaction with, you’ve got to make yourself unavailable for it. Buy something and have one bag in each hand. If your hands are occupied, he can’t expect much else. –He also did my absolute fav: The palm on the lower back. I adore it. It’s like… guiding me from behind. It feels like he’s in control but allowing me to lead the way. It’s… the perfect touch. But I wasn’t touched. I wasn’t impressed. His prettiness morphed from cute to “he aint got shit else to do” when he told me he had no job and has been a “model” since 16.
The meal was terrible. I don’t like to request a certain place to eat, so I suppose it’s my fault, but Applebee’s made me nauseous. Why I allowed Applebee’s is beyond me, but… there we sat. & I’m glad we did because when the check came. I got up and went to the bathroom. When I sat down he asked “Do you have $30?” You all should have seen. my. face. “Do I have $30?” I asked. Smiling, of course. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t think of anything besides, Is this really fucking happening? And it was. “Am I not supposed to judge you for this?” I asked him. “You can think what you want,” he responded. Ok, I thought… so you’re not a man? I looked over the check. I decided that his $90 to my $30 was acceptable for a last date. Here’s the truth: When I’m running low on cash of my own, I opt to use someone else’s. It just feels good to go out, enjoy yourself, and have the exact same amount of money you had all day. Still, I didn’t let it ruin me or my night. Because even though I think he’s useless, he was sweet enough to invite me out.
He’s a little boy and you could see it leak from him. I didn’t want to make him feel bad. He accompanied me all the way home. I played the “I like you” role and laid my head on his shoulder for the ride. Partially because I knew he’d like it and partially because I was tired. When we reached the house, he asked if he could use my bathroom. I suppose it was his slick way in but I directed him straight to the bathroom door. When he came out, I gave him the, “All set?” and accompanied him to the elevator. I pressed the button for him & errrything. & He tried. To get a feel. To coax me. But I was “so tired” and “my room is such a mess” that there was no chance of him getting in my room –nevermind my pants.
So… another one bites the dust. Later, I’ll tell you guys why I even went out with him in the first place… oh & for some background info… he’s the “Young Guy” in All Men are Created Equal.
oh & he was light-skinned. So… I’m pretty done with that breed lmao. & In the words of my failed date, “You can think what you want.”