Black women have a tough time. She was right… men do have something against black women but… (SIDENOTE: Let’s put this out ..Any man who won’t date a Black woman simply because she’s black does not exist to me. So…*Poof*) Who ever the girl is who wrote that to me has some underlying feelings in her own life that, while they aren’t necessarily part of my day-to-day, obviously affect some women of color. It’s a sad thought, that there are women out there who want nothing more than a strong Black man by their side… yet they feel like the one thing they have in in common with this man is the one reason they can’t have them. 

     The guy I’m dating now is dark. I mean… he makes me look light skinned. But it’s beautiful to me. We had had a brief conversation about this before. He claimed drak women only wanted light guys and I claimed the same of dark men. “Pretty black girls didn’t like me, though,” he told me. I had to sit and reflect on that. I could claim it’s not true but I know that when I was young, I preferred a lighter man. They were more appealing to me. So perhaps I did turn down men based on their complexion. It made me feel sorry for him. He truly has no preference but he can’t possibly date a girl who won’t date him. Even sadder is how eligible this man is and, still, he gets the short end of the stick (aside from me) because of the color of his skin. The night I met him, I also met another guy (who was very light skinned). As my friends and I reviewed the night, as girls do, she called the light skinned one “young” and “cute” while my current guy was “black” and “ugly”. However,  I didn’t let the phase me, although I see how it could. Thing is, unattractive men can look more attractive simply due to the color of their skin –same goes for females. If you added a little depth, they’d look completely different. With a black man (or woman), I think you have to actually look at the features of the person. I think a handsome Black man is far more attractive than any handsome light man. Like… Reggie Bush has got it in the bag.

       Actually had a conversation about this last night but… I’m not digging any white boys and don’t really think I’ll end up with one. Would I date one? Sure, why not… but I’m more attracted to and, most times, more compatible with men of color. Black men, to be exact. Perhaps I am a bit abrasive. Rough around the edges. But if a man can’t deal with that, that’s his problem. There are plenty women of any race that are a handful. It’s not just black women. If I had been white and written my posts Pretty Girl [Fight] and Round 2: Unfinished Business, what could have been said about me then? Would you still have attributed that to my race? Why is anything negative have to be representative of whatever race I am –or my skin color? & So what if Black women are  more aggressive than White women. That’s why there are Black men. There are men out there (I believe) made for a woman like me. I am not a lost cause and would never being to look at myself that way. If you don’t like you, why would anyone else?

      Point is… if any man is stupid enough to not a date a woman because of her skin color… he obviously ain’t the one for me. I’m not here to convert him. I’m not going to try to make him like it. Or “get used to” it. Either a man likes me  or he doesn’t. Why would I sit around and complain about men who don’t want me? That’s a waste of time. Instead, I think you should date men who find you irresistible. They treat you better. You shouldn’t have to coax your way into someone’s heart. It should simply happen.  I used to be upset at the men who “don’t date Black girls” and wrote posts like “Oh, So You Don’t Like Black Girls,” but I’m sincerely over it. I just don’t see the point in stressing about men who don’t want me (which is what I was trying to tell the girl in Pretty Girl [Fight]). Life is too short. I’d rather give my attention to a man who loves what I look and act like.

With that said — Next post: Attitude: You’ll Never Find a Real Man.