She say she never been. – Wiz Khalifa, “Never Been”
I dont remember the conversation. I don’t know what he said when he came up to me or how I responded. I do know what he was wearing. He had an all black suit on –featuring an interesting pinstripe detailing if you looked close enough & the tie matched the ensemble. The only part of our interaction I remember was my trying to unzip his jacket and saying, “Let me see this outfit,” to which he responded, “I’ma save that for later.” He smiled and walked away.
I liked that.
Thing is… this was a half-bust of a night. Ash had to go back to the house & I was left to play the floor with her two guy friends. BUT I fell (on my ass) as we made our way to the party, and the slit in the back of my dress sliiiit to the point to where, when I walked, you could see that cuff of my ass. Now… That’d be sexy somewhere… but not on this particular night. This left me to play the bar. It was my first time being practically “alone” at a party. Part of me felt dumb, like I had no purpose… but a bigger part of me just didn’t want to go home. The only emotion I felt greater than that was lust when I cast my eye on this one particular guy. I can’t give you exact details –Henny & Cranberry — but all i know is that he was tall, dark & handsome. Buuuttt he left hand-in-hand with some girl before the lights cut on. So here I was at the bar… and I realized what I was doing: Hunting.
I positioned myself so that I could everything going on around me. Sometimes, I’d stand with my back to the bar… leaning ever so sultrily with one arm on the ledge, the other hand always occupied with a drink. (After Henny & cranberry was whatever red wine there was left). & It was great positioning let me tell you. oh!! Tip: The best people to talk to at any event are other females. My friends at home thought this was weird for a bit, but really, when you make friends with other females, the vibe of the entire event changes. By the end of the night, I had a new friend. We stood next to each other at the bar explaining to guys that, no, we didn’t know each other & we just met. It was pretty fab.
& I wonder if I could do this again. Could I go out by myself? Purposely? If I did, it’d have to be a supremely classy event. Like… a black tie thing. A place where I can go in for one drink & head home. I considered this when we went out on New Year’s Day. (Since I’ve been going out with my cousin a lot, I’ve had to learn to party alone & be okay with it. It’s really not a bad thing. It’s calming. You don’t have to worry about anyone else and where they are and if they’re okay. You can just… mingle. That’s why I like to go out with my cousin; he goes his way, I go mine.) While we were at Pranna, I decided to mingle. I felt a little bad leaving Ash & her friend… but I’ve found that I simply like to go off on my own. I told Carl my trick. I pick a bar & a bartender. Preferably, you pick the bar that’s the farthest –so that you have to walk to it. So, when you need a refill, you have a reason to walk around. Even if you are by yourself. Picking a bartender ensures that your drinks are made well. You tip big the first time you’re served & they treat you right the rest of the night. Trust me: TIP YOUR BARTENDERS. & on my next trip down, I happened to meet quite the dapper gentleman. Apparently it was his event. Anyhow.. I liked his garb. A man who wears a tie is a man I need to know.
Still, IDK how this will look; me going out by myself. I can’t do it all the time [I need friends lol] but I really just don’t like people. & females are tough. You have to weigh whether or not you want to be associated with her before you continue on. I’m thinking once every 2 months? That’s not bad right?? I’m really saying that because I considered once a month… but that might be too much lol. I wouldn’t recommend this to any young girls out there. Don’t go out by yourself… but… I’m pretty old in this game. And I’m in FUCKING NEW YORK. I know people are scared for me… but after having to find rides home from Paradox in Baltimore at 5:30am after seeing guys walk around with bloody stab wounds looking for revenge… I’m pretty prepared for the world. I just don’t want to have to wait on other people to enjoy myself. New York City is outside my window. I can see it. And everyday I miss out on something else. I can’t wait on the rest of the world to get to where I am.
I’ve grown into myself. Anyone who knew me before knows that while I am the same person I was… I’m so brand new. I’ve never been so comfortable in my own skin. Maybe this is why I can work a party all by myself. I just like to be by myself. People wonder why I don’t come out and visit or call or text or AIM or message or… whatever…. it’s because I don’t mind a solitary life. I don’t really like company. And when I am with people… I look forward to my time alone. I appreciate my time alone. So maybe… just maybe, I’ll take myself out one day. When a classy event comes up, of course 🙂
I mean, I’ve already got the perfect outfit 😉