Ma, don’t give him nothing unless he treatin you special. Soon he’ll get desperate and go down & bless ya. & When he come up for air –with a mouth full of hair — just grab your Coach bag and get the fuc outta there.  

   I called two of my friends and told them, “I met someone.” You ever do that? You think you’ve found a potential candidate, only to be left disappointed a couple days later as you go over the details you seemed to have missed. But here you are anyway. Exactly where you started. Expect with one more saved contact you’d rather not hear from. 
      The first day we went out, he was the perfect gentleman. Actually, he always acted the gentleman part… it was the speech that threw me off a bit. Sexual innuendoes practically fell from his mouth and I laughed along with the jokes partially from shock, partially because I was envisioning possibilities that shouldn’t have even been brought to the table on date #2… another part of me simply smiled along because he said I have a nice smile. So why not? 
      Day two was when the hands started going places they shouldn’t have. A little to far up the thigh. An accidental swipe as he held the door open. What do you say when this happens? There was a time when I liked the grotesque attention. I liked to be touched because I put as much emphasis on my body as men did… But at that time I was also 15, impressionable and –in one word– stupid. Not much different from many other girls at that age I’d assume.  
      By day three, the conversation was walking a thin line where I wasn’t sure what was a joke anymore.  The conversation was too seriously sexual. His jokes too often. To abrupt. Part of me played the “good girl” role as I asked, “Why do you talk so nasty?” So while he was “joking” with his sexual speech, he thought I was joking when I said he was “too dirty.” 
      I’ve met this guy before. Not literally, but I’ve met his type. The type that shows you the utmost respect when they first meet you… and it deteriorates by the day. You can’t spend too much time with these guys or joke too much because they get carried away. “Beautiful” turns to “Sexy”. “Nice outfit” turns to “your fine ass” and it’s no longer the same man. He thinks he’s reeled you in and that soon enough he’ll get what he came for. You take part in the less-than-appropriate conversation because “we’re both adults” and sex is undeniably an important aspect of a relationship. Then he tests you. What can he do to get you to do the same? If he does A, will you do B? Will A + B lead to C? If not, what combination can get him to where he wants to be? And we all know where he wants to be. 
      Don’t be fooled. There is NO (NOT ONE) man who doesn’t want sex. The ones who say they don’t want it are typically the ones who want it the most. THAT is their game. Maybe you’ll be more willing to give it up because he “aint pressed” and he “don’t need it.” Sadly, it’s really all bullshit and I’m not sure of a nicer way to phrase that. 
I’ve lost relations with many men because I refuse to lose respect for myself. 
      “I only spoil my girlfriends,” he said. 
      “Perfect. Cuz I only have sex with boyfriends.” I replied. 
      “Does that go for you receiving oral too?” He asked. 
      “Umm… No,” I responded. “But it does for giving.”
      “Only suckers eat for no purpose” —-> And he said he didn’t want anything!!!!!!!!!! 
      “Only women with low self-esteem act against their morals at a mans request.”
        Luckily these are relations I’d rather not keep up regardless. I don’t care how good a man looks or how much potential he has. I don’t spread my legs for strangers. & I don’t put strange things in my mouth. If a man wants to do something for you, let him. But don’t feel like you have to do anything in return. Ever. That’s where women make the mistake. This dude sent me a picture of himself last night “in exchange” for one of myself. I opened that bad boy, said “hmm,” and took my ass to sleep. Not to say I’ve never sent a picture, but I wasn’t going to send him one. 
      Some people reading this blog hate that I stereotype men, but I really don’t care. Because I’ve never even met and “exception” to the conclusions I come to. Here’s my latest stereotype: Men always want something in return.  I’ve decided I’m going to start numbering the guys I meet and laying out their types. Because men come in types. & If this is the type you’re dating… you’ll see that particular guys follow particular patterns. They act the same way. Think the same thoughts. Say the same shit. Speak the same bull. The same is true for women, but I don’t date women. I date men. 
       This guy is The Sex Craved Nice Guy. The one who says everything you want to hear, but acts a complete different way. They guy who loves your mind, but can’t stop touching your body. They guy who wants more than sex but can’t talk about anything else.  The Baller who takes you to Fridays. This guy preys on women who initially seem to have respect for themselves. They like the chase. They like the thrill of working towards something. Thinking that they can break through any female they pursue. These niggas haven’t met Ella though. 
       If what you’re looking for is sex or something that will get you satisfaction without the strings. Go ahead. Just be sure that that’s what you want. But when you’ve made up your mind that you want more than that, don’t sway in your own decisions. Be concrete in your feelings. Me? I want something meaningful. Something serious. & If that’s not on the table, I fold. I’m out the game.