There’s one thing that pisses most men off: When girls go to the club and don’t dance. Guys ask all the time why I don’t dance when I’m in the club. I’ve given plenty of reasons:
- “I’m tired.”
- “Don’t feel like it.”
- “Dances cost a drink.”
- (If their decent but not worth a dance) “I don’t want to get those little lint balls on my dress from rubbing on you and this is new.” (Men love that one. Try it.)
But truly I don’t dance because I see what those other girls look like. Grinding up on guy’s crotches. Meanwhile the guy rubs his hands together and looks over the crowd to see who’s looking at him being a “cool guy”. I’m not helping none of these brotha’s self -esteems sorry.
The problem with… hop-hip clubs is that that’s the only way to dance. Dancing = Rubbing your ass on penis. I’ve gone to some spots with my cousins where they play mostly Spanish music and I’ve had the time of my life dancing there. Because it’s not a gross, raunchy or disrespectful type of dancing. Not saying they don’t get down and dirty too… but… you know…
There’s a second thing that pisses most men off: When their girl goes the club and does dance. If you met her in the club dancing like that, why do you expect her to change now? You can’t meet someone doing a certain thing and then hope they’ll stop that action just for you. If you do expect this, then you don’t really like that person, at least not all of them. Say a guy met me at the club and I got down and dirty and grinded all up on him; this means that this is how I act in the club when I’m interested in a guy.
I’m not saying I’ve never danced in the club, but I’m really over that now.… wait… This year, I danced with 5 guys”
Once to impress.
Once to spite.
Once to tease.
Once to trap.
Once to let loose.
I have a confession: I made a mistake this summer –had to be like… May– by dancing with a guy I was interested in (once to impress). But after he danced with me, he danced with another girl…. So I danced with his friend (once to spite… I’ll talk about the other 3 some other time). —–> Let me clarify though. I don’t bend over. Yes, they got a little rub but I don’t pop-lock-and-drop-it. I also walk away immediately when I feel that hand pressing down between my shoulder blades or when I feel a guy leading me to the wall (with “To Impress” I sort of did though. He’s HOT. That’s an exception. When his friend tried to pull me towards the wall, I stopped dancing. That’s how it went. ) And….That’s how it goes. So May is the last time I danced –like that –with a guy
I do go to the club to dance, just not particularly with guys. I can dance just fine by myself as I hold my pretty little drink and talk trash about everybody in there with the girls I came with. That is why I go to the club. To look cute, drink liquor, and joke with my friends. I understand that guys are in there scoping for potential late night pieces of ass, but, there’s plenty girls in the club. If you’re so thirsty for a dance, you can dance with someone else. OR you can bring me over to the bar, buy me and my girls what we’d like and have a conversation. That is how you run game to a girl who doesn’t dance. Yes, it costs a little more. That’s why broke men get no play. And when women don’t expect this, that’s how you end up with a broke man. I’m just sayin.
This is the reason I don’t see anything wrong with meeting “The One” at a club. It just depends on what club and how they are acting when you meet them. You know… good people go to the club, too. If you want a girl who doesn’t dance in the club, then approach the girl who doesn’t dance in the club. I talked about this theory before in a previous blog, “Weighed Down,” and argued that if you want to be in a relationship, you should start acting like you’re in one before you even begin one. I act right in the club. I truly believe that I could be trusted in the club to demand respect for myself & my man. I recently found myself in a situation where he guy I was dating wouldn’t be at the club I went to, but all his friends were. I know they can’t/couldn’t give any negative reports on me. Only thing they can tell him is how even his friends wanted a piece of this. Yeeeaaa, bitches. lol.
Some clubs have rules posted outside their doors: No hats, no baggy jeans etc. There is no rule that says that if I go to the club I have to dance. Much less with you. If I dance with a guy, there is always a reason. There is motive.
All of my moves are made strategically. That is “game”. Simply strategy. And as woman, you have to use what you have and take advantage of the situations when you are in control. The Club is one of those places/situations. It is all about you. And you have the choice to present yourself as you would like to be seen.
I love the club. I love dancing. I love liquor, high heels and tight dresses.
I hate watered down drinks, those little lint balls on my dress and guys who rub their stuff on me while my back is turned.