One time, my brother and I didn’t speak for almost a month because he said something… anti-gay. I have no idea what he said, I just remember that it upset me and I called him ignorant. Him being 11 years my senior, I couldn’t call him anything without getting body slammed. 


     I remember my mom saying something about gay people (don’t judge my mommy. She’s old-school Dominican and she’s changed. Believe me.) and I asked her, “What if people treated me the way you treat gay people? You want people to treat your kids like that? You know some people don’t like me because my skin is dark. What if they talk about me the way you talk about gay people?” She had nothing to say. I walked away.  I’ve always been a very outspoken person, but I was definitely worse as a child. It might have been rude coming from a teenager, but someone had to tell her & I’d rather it be me. 


    The first time I met someone (openly) gay, I was in high-school. It was a boy. But his boyfriend didn’t go to our school so it was like a… you’re gay but I don’t have to watch you be gay. I saw them kiss at a dance once and… honestly, I still don’t like what that looks like. lol.  This isn’t to say that I wasn’t accepting, knowledgable or conscious of the gay community. I just didn’t personally know anyone who was outwardly gay. Gay wasn’t exactly cool. & I don’t think a gay person in my elementary school or middle school would have made it through the year, to be honest. We were ignorant little kids. And even though I saw nothing wrong with it, I was a kid and I did what kids do. If I had to, I’d have been cruel. I remember this one girl I went to middle school with used to poke other girls in the stomach… you know… like guys do? I got fed up when she did it while we were walking to lunch one day and I yelled out “_____________. Stop poking me. I’m not gay!” In front of everyone. She didn’t sit at my table for a while after that. lol.
Pause.  You can stop judging.
       I’m delusional and think I’m the next Carrie Bradshaw, I LOVE gay men. Carl is my Stanford Blatch (Yes, bitch. You are MINE.)  While that was a little joke, it remains true (at least for me), that most girls want a gay best friend. Here’s why I love Carl. He lives his own life. We don’t double date or hook eachother up, but if I met a gay man who might be Carl’s type, I’d gladly introduce them. Likewise, if he met a tall, athletic, rich super straight man, I better the first in line. Meanwhile, I don’t have to worry about Carl taking my man and I don’t want his. Anyways, the gays aren’t collectibles. It was pure chance that brought me and Carl together, especially since I didn’t like him at first. Luckily, I like him as a person. His good and bad qualities, because we all have them. The search for a gay best friend is what’s bizarre. If you don’t have one, you don’t have one. Hunny, there’s one sure thing with the gays, they either like you or they don’t.  & They’ll let you know it.  
      Maybe you shouldn’t have stopped judging me. Notice that I only confirmed my “acceptance”  because I have a gay friend. Sound familiar? lol.
  
     I know that there’s no age to figure out your sexuality and that it’s different for every person, but I do wonder what the “right” age to expose a child is. (This is looking like another “Perfect Timing” blog.) The questions that run through my head are, are kids being forced to think about these things earlier than they have to? Can exposing a child to the idea of “gay” make them gay? What would I do if my child were gay? As kids start “deciding” earlier and earlier, I start to feel the same way about sexuality as I do about religion: There’s no correct path, and you shouldn’t go through with confirmation until you’re sure and have lived a bit. But then again… I’m not gay. What do I know?
   Another “gay” trend I have a distaste for? Girls kissing girls just to kiss girls.  In high-school, all the girls were gay… or bi.. and then it happened again in college. & Now those girls are straight again. Many knocked up and nursing their babies (for those who don’t know, 2 girls cant make a baby. Something else was in there.) Others are just sleeping with everyone. Last year, with a particular person, my only thought was… Are you really Bi or do you just want to sleep with everyone? Because… well. You know. If you’re gay, you’re gay… Cool with me. But if you just need some extra action, there’s another term that suits you a bit better.  More than one, actually.    

   If I were to take part in gay activities, she’d better be one bad bitch. & my liquor had better be strong. Because if I went home to my mother, friends, family, employers… anyone, they’d all first think “Really?” Then, they’d see my girlfriend and say “Can I be gay, too?” That’s the reaction I want.

    This post is totally random & have no idea why I got on this topic… wait. I do. All this BS in the news about kids being bullied and then harming themselves and others on account of their choice in sexuality. You know how people wonder if people are gay by choice or by birth? I remember hearing the argument of “Why would anyone choose a life this hard?” and that kind of stuck to me. “Gay” is not new. I’m not saying we have to obligate our 5-year-olds to choose a preference, but as adults, we need to be ready to handle our children’s choices and help our children accept the choices of others. When I say gay is the new Black, I mean it in all forms: in terms of discrimination and in the fashion sense. From people being ostracized or pinpointed because of their sexuality. Our society and its bizarre love/hate relationship with the gay community (You know majority gay areas have the best schools, restaurants and show the most economic growth? I’m just sayin’).  

       I once had a conversation with two “educated” black men about sexual orientation. They claimed that when gays start getting rights, that’s how you know the empire is about to come crashing down, like it did in Greece. Their argument was that if you start giving groups of people rights for things they “can’t change”, you make too many exceptions to your laws. I looked at both of them and said “then you should be slaves.” They went on to tell me that when I get older and wiser, I’ll understand their point better. If that’s the truth, I never want to grow up.  You can’t expect your group to be accepted into society and then deny others the same rights. They can put their Engineering and Math degrees side-by-side and I’ll stick to my opinion that they are the two of the most ignorant men I’ve ever spoken to. 

      My brother didn’t have a degree when we had our argument. He also didn’t bullshit his way to a moronic conclusion. He was smarter than that. 

     When it comes to homophobia, I pity Black people the most. I guess history books did the right thing in making “Slavery in the US” one 10 page chapter. Seems like most people have forgotten historical oppression and what that can do to a people.  I’m definitely not arguing that the gays have it as bad as Blacks did, but does genocide have to occur before we start fighting for the rights of others? 
So yea… Gay is the new black.