The biggest turnoff? When a guy you don’t want to talk to… and he knows you don’t want to talk to him…. texts you.

Here are some examples:

  (BTW, I wish I had my iphone so I could send y’all a screen shot. We’ll see how this works though.)                    

GUY #1

I guess you don’t want me to text u

Did I do something wrong to u? I text u the other day u never respond

U was distant today

It’s D_____ the path train conductor [def LMFAO’d when I read that] , I take it your not gonna answer,  but I have a big crush on u, I say “crush” cause I’m in a relationship. But I wanted to be friends with u..

     And then I LMFAO’d again and put my phone back in my Longchamp. 
     The thing is, I planned on abusing these guys and taking them for what they’re worth… but they require more than I can give. I can’t keep up. I don’t have the time. Why is it I have to respond to every text you send. Does it hurt your feelings? Can’t you just go about your day? Where are the men who don’t need constant attention?   
     Yesterday, as I was “distant” on the PATH, I read the Nicki Minaj piece in COMPLEX magazine’s Nov 2010 issue where Nicki responds to the press saying she’s bisexual. “I don’t have sex with women,” she responds. “I don’t have sex with men right now either.” The interviewer, Toshitaka Kondo, then asks her if she’s celibate to which she responds “Yes, and I encourage all my young Barbies to do the same. I just don’t have the time.” 

     This Barbie thing just keeps getting better. Where do I sign up? 

     I don’t have the time for any of it. The drama, the stress, the worry –the fact that most men are in a relationship at the time they try to talk to you, like sweet little D_______. I barely have time to get to know anyoneI work. Full-time plus some. My friends can tell you that they rarely call me because I’m always busy. I have shit to do. Yes, I do want someone to say “goodnight” and “good morning” to, but I don’t want to hear about every time you exhaled, inhaled or washed your hands. I’m not interested in that. Personally, I feel like, we don’t really need to talk unless we’re going to do something. Are we going out? Are we making plans? If not, we don’t really have much to talk about. Besides, all that “getting to know each other” is better done in person.

GUY #2


(while I was home celebrating my best friend’s birthday)


Hey I know u probably busy.. So I just text u to say hi nd hope u havin a great time out-there. So nah u could text me when u not busy or whenever u like



Good morning… hope u have a good day bye.


Hey hope u having a good day at work even thou is pooring outside. Nd I don want to sound negative but I feel like I’m disturbing u texting u nd stuff, so I’m jus gonna stop disturbin u nd if you wan talk to me her I’m here….

  Ella responds @ 8:03pm: 

Hey sorry but you need to understand that I work over 40 hours a week. If you need someone to talk to all day, I’m not the one. I don’t have time.                                       

        The conversation went on from there about how he he liked me because I got my “own thing” and I told him I liked him because he said he was cool with just being friends. This boy wants to see me all the time. I never noticed how sickening that could be. It’s usually the girl who wants to see the guy. When it’s reversed, it’s the ultimate turn off.  If I wanted a girl, I would date one.  
     What I’m really looking for is a part-time boyfriend. I don’t want someone I have to call everyday, just someone who answers when I do call. I’m sure I could’ve had a great time with the guys mentioned above if I wasn’t A) embarrassed that guy #1 is a train conductor and B) Attracted to anything about  guy #2 (I just like his clothes, forreal).  
     This is a difficult place to be in. For my college women who hope to join the work-force soon and make any kind of effect in their careers, be ready to be alone… for  a while. (I mean, unless you have a boyfriend already & are in a good situation, of course.) I wake up at 6:30am, get to work for 9am, work unitl 6:30pm (on a good day), get home by 8pm, eat dinner, Facebook for a bit and go to bed. I really don’t have time. On the weekends, I visit family and friends & try to have drink or two [to satisfy the urges college instilled in me]. 
     Then there’s the issue that there aren’t many qualified men out there. I haven’t met too many college educated men while I’ve been out in the past couple of months. And even if that’s not my criteria, the men I do meet seem to be intimidated by my accomplishments. Additionally, I really hate hearing, “Yo, you’re mad smart, huh?” 
     I have no problem being lonely because I know I’m not alone.  I have family, friends etc and most men are really just looking to get in your panties to occupy their time, meanwhile they occupy yours until they get bored and move on to the next female in their path. It’s a waste of time, really. All that ends up happening is your sleeping with guy after guy (and they can’t all be good. Good sex is rarer than we like to admit.).  So like, Nicki, I, too am Celibate. Yes, I want to go to the movies and to dinners and carnivals and maybe even some bookstore & coffee shop dates. I just don’t want to sex them. I don’t have enough time to get to know you. With the one day a week I might see you, you can easily see how it’ll take a long time to get in my panties. That’s just an FYI. 
     There’s this shared misconception that women are needier than men and I hope this post has shown that men aren’t as faultless as they put out. Or maybe this is just another instance of  “Men Like Women Who Don’t Like Them.”  I mean, Guy #1 did start texting me more after he saw Guy #2 drop me off at the PATH. 
     Anyways…. Part-time Boyfriend needed. Accepting Applications Now.