One thing I’m awesome at? First impressions.
I had my official first NYC date today and I must say… it went better than I had expected. One of my cousins told me that NYC is a “single city” and the other told me the club we went to is “full of ballers” so, I’ve been waiting (im)patiently on both of these things to realize.
Although we met Saturday, he didn’t call me until yesterday (and I hated the wait)… but, Ladies, he called. I don’t remember the last time I got a phone call before a text message. I heard his voice. I know his voice. How many guys are you talking to right now whose voice you can’t recognize? It’s different. I never noticed how much more you get to know a person when you can listen to them. Or even just hear them. You notice the quirks, they way they pause, the way they pronounce certain things. You get to know things about that person that they can’t tell you. Honestly, eff the whole “I’m the type of person who” conversation. With some dates/conversations it feels like you’re reading the other person’s Twitter wall as they go in on the #TypeOfPersonThat trending topic.
We went to Starbucks –Wait. He went to Starbucks. I made him wait. I was purposely late for the date. I shopped H&M (yes, again. I bought a light jean dess, a leather vest. Well, pleather I suppose, sheer nylon & a jacket that looks like a blazer… hit up H&M ASAP, they’re having a sale) while he ordered me a Caramel Macchiato, extra caramel because “I’ll be there soon.” We met at the Starbucks between 38-39th. I work on 40th. I walked passed him and entertained myself on purpose.When I showed up, I said “Sorry I’m late, there was a sale.” He needs to know how important shopping is to me without really having to say it. & he needed to know that I spend money on myself. So I’m not worried about him. & I didn’t even thank him for the coffee.
I know what you’re thinking…”Bitch.” Pause. You’re future’s my past, I’ve been here before.
Sidebar: That’s a Jay line (Streets is Talkin) & if you don’t know by now, his lyrics give me guidance… Continuing my rendition of the verse….
I know when they scheming. I feel when they plotting. I’ve got, mental-vision. Intuition. I know where they think they going. I read their mind’s navigational systems. They want ass. (Sorry for the language but there’s another word that’s much more vulgar.) Your moves let a man know how easily he’s going to get in it.
Men read our actions as much as we read theirs. Imagine if I had been there when he showed up? Waiting on this man. Like I’m thirsty for his company. Like I’ve been thinking about him all day. I wasn’t. But even if I was…. Ladies, never wait on a man. Ever. He can wait on you. If he wants you, he’ll sit and wait. & Order your iced latte for you. & Make sure you get the one with more caramel. & then wipe if off for you so that your hands don’t get sticky. You might think I’m asking for too much.. But hey. Why not? Ask yourself this: If he can’t patiently wait on you to show up, what makes you think he’s going to patiently wait to get that _ _ _ _ _?
There’s power there. & Jay-Z told us that much. “Power of the _ _ _ _ _.” Sweet Cooch Brown is one of my idols.
But there’s more power in your mind. If I guy really like you, you can get him for everything. There’s a simple method to it: Be Perfect. Every man wants to wife a good girl. Luckily, I don’t have to lie completely. I just don’t give my life story on the first date.
None of us are perfect, but us ladies need to stop pretending like we don’t care how we come across. I does matter what people think. We all know the kind of girl a man wants: Cute, hardworking & respectable. If he asks you out, he already thinks your cute (check). To be hardworking, all you need is a job (hopefully, check). Men consider that hardworking even if you just babysit. Respectable? That’s a lilttle tougher.. but all you need to do is NOT throw it at him… or his friends. Easier than you thought, huh?
& Honestly… I’ve made the mistake to talk about sex too early. Even if you don’t end up having sex, he knows that you want it because you’ve talked about it. If I’ve talked about it, I wanted it (let’s be adults here). If a man feels like he can get it, he basically feels like he got it. You’re that much “easier” to get. Don’t be easy.
You must all be thinking that I went into this with the plan in my head… no, it just happened that way. Somehow it worked, so I’m trying to give this to you so you can take advantage of my residual game. (LOL. Residual Game. I crack myself up. I sometimes wonder if you guys find me as funny as I do. I went back and bolded it so everybody reads that one twice. ha!) Last night, he told me to let him know ahead of time if I would be able to meet. & that he needed about 20 minutes to get to me. Aaaanndddd I didn’t. I actually planned to not warn him & see if I could get him to come last minute. Luckily though, I was busy all day & had little time to text. So at 6:30 (after responding to his “hey, have a nice day” crap…) I txted him “20 minutes?” and he txted back “Ok. I’m leaving now.” Points for him.
Truly though, I had a good hair/outfit day I wanted to take advantage of.
Even more truly? I didn’t give a shit. About him, about the conversation. About his feelings. All i cared about was… me. I went to the bathroom around 5 & saw myself in the mirror (you know how sometimes you’re not sure about how you look all day?) & I liked what I saw. My confidence was up. Never go on a date nervous. The more you like yourself, the more comfortable you are and the more he’ll like you. I mean, you look good today! Take advantage of the days you feel good about yourself… and make them gooder. Yes, gooder.
So… yea. We didn’t do dinner, (although I tried to & I’m still hungry) but he does want to see me again & there better be food (I made him beg for me to call him. Told him I don’t call men.. oh yea… Some mo’ residual game fo yo ass!). I’m typically private about my relationships but… hey you don’t know they guy & ya wont!
Besides… if he plays his cards right, he shouldn’t be afraid of what I’m posting here right?? Like… the fact that he has a nice bod (and I did not miss a “y”), for example. If he reads this blog in the future, he’ll be happy I said that.
I’ll keep y’all posted. ❤
**PS: For anyone who has heard my “Dear Love” piece during one of my rare spoken word performances, I surely had a tall latte but wasn’t waiting on Love.
oh yea… & good girls don’t eff on the first date. In a man’s mind, there are no exceptions. Don’t buy his lies.