When a guy says he wants a girl who has her own car, no problem. If he ask that she have job? No problem. If he rather she have her own place? No issues there either. For some reason, women are the only ones judged when, in their lists of requirements for a man, we ask that he have a job, a car and a place of his own. If we ask for these things, we earn a venerated and feared label: Golddigger.
So, I decided to give it a Google run. Here are the results:
Answers.com: A woman who seeks money and expensive gifts from men.
UrbanDictionary.com: When a woman who is attractive lies to gain wealth without proper work and showing very little or no affection towards the usually unattractive rich man.
So only women can be golddiggers? I know men who chose the “less attractive” girl because she has a “head on her shoulders” and “has her own”. But if we ask that a man get on his job and also have a “head on his shoulders” we’re golddiggers. I liked Webster’s definition the best.
Webster’s: a person who uses charm to extract money or gifts from others
I was with a broke guy once. (He knows he was broke sooo…sorry, hun) I was 16. He was 21(No comments, please.). I worked… all the time. Sometimes two jobs. He worked at a supermarket, part-time. I used to make him take me to eat at the Chili’s across from his job. Pretty much blew his paycheck for him. BUT… I was his young suga mama. I stocked his fridge when he got his new place (that I told him he needed to get. He was 21, y’all.) I bought his game stations, clothes, sneakers. Every time I got myself a pair, I got him a pair. He was cute and I the stupidest smart girl ever. Now, he loved me, but he loved what I did for him more. I did everything for him. I fed him when he was hungry and gave him a place to stay when he had no where to turn.
Why isn’t he a golddigger?
Why is it wrong to want someone to be able to take me out? Is it wronger to want to go to nice places? Are you still a golddigger if you have your own money? Is it wrong that when a guy says “My birthday is on the ___ . What you getting me?” I’m automatically turned off and he no longer has a chance in hell? Is it wrong that I don’t ask for anything, but I do expect something? Why can’t I expect something? Am I not worth a couple dollars? I mean… men say that pussy is free, but it’s really not. Prostitutes charge, that means there is a price. Most of these bitches out here just have low prices. And I mean, prostitutes will do what you pay for. The more you pay, the better the girl. The better the tricks. These girls out here are on year long clearance with below average product.
So, Ella’s on Ebay. Waiting on the highest bidder. & believe the Buy Now price is appalling.
Allow me to justify my thug.
I have my own. But, why would I be with someone who can’t add to the pot? I’m not looking for a rich man, because I’m not rich. But… like with any partner for any reason, you match up based on compatibility of various factors. $$ is on my chart. I can go out to eat by myself. I’ll eat well by myself, so why do I have to settle for Fridays when I’m with someone else? I’d rather just go by myself where I want to go. Instead of window shopping with a man, I’d rather shop by myself and ball out. Either we both window shopping or we both shopping. & I’m not window shopping, sweetie. Why does he need to be there? And by “there” I mean, in my life.
The other day, this guy followed me around Macy’s trying to get my number. “If you’re not going to pay, there’s no reason for you to follow me around,” I said.
“I’ll buy you whatever you want, ma,” he responded.
“I want that,” I said, pointing at a dress I had just put down.
“You want this?” he said as he picked it up and glanced at the tag.
“No, I want the whole rack.”
He laughed. I walked. He followed.
He continued on saying…. something… as I stopped to look at this Rachel Roy top and tried to figure out what it said. When I read it, I turned to him. “Do you know what this says?” I interrupted.
“What does it say?”
“I will not take part in pointless conversation,” I said, looking him in the eye.
He stopped. I laughed. (You guessed it.) He followed.
Simply put, he’s broke. & he lied. He said he could buy me what I wanted, but he didn’t show me anything. A real baller would have told the salesgirl to help me pick out what I wanted and handed over the money/card/first-born, whatever. Now, I’m not asking for this, but don’t pretend to be that if you’re not. Because… me? Of all people? I know my shit. (& BTW, he did NOT get my number lol).
Men think that all women want millionaires. We do. But we don’t expect that from you. All we want is a nice dinner, maybe once a week. And hopefully, you have $60 to spend on me a week. That’s really not that much. I spent $600 on me this week. I’m only asking for you to spend 10% of what I spend on me. Here’s the catch: The more I spend on myself, the more you’ll have to spend on me. It’s relatively exponential. So if you don’t want to spend a lot of money on a girl, get a girl who doesn’t spend money on herself, then she won’t expect as much. She’ll be okay with Wendy’s or McDonald’s. Me? I don’t even eat that shit. And not because I’m “too good”, but because it’s not healthy. And really, it doesn’t taste good after you stop eating it.
I like good things. Good food, good dates, good shoes, good clothes, good places. And for that, if I should be labeled a golddigger. Fine. I refuse to support a man (ever again) or lower my standards to what he can afford if I can do better by myself. I’m with Lisa Raye when she said “People think that I’m a gold digger. I’m digging for platinum. I can’t do nothing with a Buger King man unless he own about 20 or 30 of them.”
Then again, I really think it’s only broke men who hate golddiggers because they can’t make the cut. Here’s some advice: Get ya money up, babe & you might be able to afford a good woman.