I’m a world wide woman, you can log on anywhere. My love will take you there. Beyonce “World Wide Woman”

Because this was a requested topic, there are 2 posts for discussion… this one is more why I okay’d a long distance relationship (“thing”). The other post, “Far [Fetched] Love” is more on how to make one work

     What I really meant to say  in the last post was… I could do it.  I would do it. I even want to do it. I know this because I sort of did do it. 

     When he was gone, I stayed faithful. I ignored the emotions. I overlooked the insecurities and he didn’t even have to ask me to.  I did it because I know how. My last blog, “Far [Fetched] Love” goes into further detail on the hows… In this blog, I’ll explain the whys:

     First off, I talked about my summer “thing” in the previous post, but let me clarify what it really was. He was a guy that I thought was… very attractive. He measured up well on both my genuine and superficial charts we all measure people against. Because of this, I deemed him worth it. Worth hanging around for. This first part of any long distance relationship is deciding whether or not its even worth waiting.  From the start, he let me know that he wouldn’t be around and he rarely had time and, for me, it was perfect. And so it began and he left. We exchanged at least one text message a day, which made me feel like he was thinking of me. And really, that’s all I wanted this summer… a bit of attention. To feel like someone, somewhere –anywhere –was thinking of me.  

Loneliness is what gets you. 

     This summer, I worked full-time. When I wasn’t at work, I’d write, read, exercise, knit… anything to keep my mind off of being lonely. To have a good long distance relationship, you have to okay with spending a whole lot of time alone. You have to stay busy. The more you entertain yourself, the less time you have to concern yourself with what the other person is doing. If you can’t be alone, don’t do it to yourself. This is something you have to admit to yourself. Be honest, some people need the other person always around. It’s not a bad thing, you just have to be real with yourself so you can be real with the other person.

      You have to want that person without needing them. This is why in the last post, I say that you “have to be in the right place personally for it to work “. You have to have a life of your own & entertain yourself. If you are in a long distance relationship, most likely, it is because someone is chasing a dream; a goal. For it to work, you have to have goals of your own. I was ok with the summer “thing” because I didn’t need him. I was looking for a job. I didn’t plan on being around much either. I was ready to chuck the deuces to Rhode Island the minute I got a job offer (which I did & did). If you’re the one going away, the other person should understand your goals and fully support you along the way. 

     I was a long-distance relationship with my two best friends for four years. Even when we didn’t speak, I knew they supported my every move. No matter where I end up, they don’t question where I am and what I’m doing because they know it’s something I have to do. Now, I know friendship isn’t the same as a relationship, but it’s a relationship nonetheless. And if you’re in a relationship where you aren’t equals, and don’t value each other as equals, as friends, it won’t last whether you’re near or far. 

      I’d do it. But let me bear my truth to you. I’d do it for… an NBA/NFL/MLB player… (you pick the acronym) or business man who travels. Ok… I felt the eye rolls so let me explain. I’m an adult. With a full-time job so I’d require the same of my man. If he’s away that much, there has to be a reason for it. The aforementioned men are the only one’s who travel. “Business man” though, includes any job that requires travel but also pays very well. If he’s making money, Honey, let his ass WORK and bring home that check. Never come between a man and his money unless you’re at the register. Yes, girl. Update your Facebook/AIM/Twitter right now. Go ahead. 

     With that said… for the younger readers: I’d never do long distance for someone who is going away to college. Do you know how many people you meet? How many parties there are? You need to live college. & if you’re boo is going away to college, they’ll live college even if you don’t. Oh & let the jail birds go. Ella don’t accept collect calls. 

     I don’t care what people say: People will tell you you’re insane to wait –stupid, dumb, wasting your time and that he’s probably fucking other girls. I don’t listen to anyone. My friends tried to tell me to break the summer “thing” off. That he was “gaming” me. That I was going to get hurt. & I’ll admit, it wasn’t all roses (obviously since the summer “thing” quickly fell to fall) but I had a good time.  I know all too well that misery loves company and I refused to let myself work that way. I took a Gloria Govan type of role and simply didn’t talk about the “thing” or things he said or things he did. I kept him to myself.  Oddly enough, the “thing” actually didn’t fall off until he came back home. Maybe I’m better long-distance (he sure was. lol). 

     So I’d do a long-distance relationship with the right guy because I’m ready for it. I can be alone, be happy and be trusted. I couldn’t always. But I can now. I guess what I’m saying is, that if my summer “thing” guy had asked me to do it… I would have… & that’s what hurt the most about the entire ordeal. (sheesh… the truth sucks.)